Football

Week #14 – Cowboys vs. Bears The Vault: 1996

Tony Martin December 4, 2019 0

Happy Thursday and welcome back to THE VAULT, my weekly sermon where my pulpit is a Dave Wannstedt-run sideline and my scripture is just whatever relevant pages and boxscores I can find on Pro Football Reference. Today’s Vault is a deep dive into the Monday Night Football tilt between the

Football

Rapid Recap- Bears 24, Lions 20

Tony Martin November 28, 2019 0

Well, the Bears won. Somehow. Just barely. The local boys escaped Ford Field victorious and are now the least convincing .500 team in the league at 6-6. Are we going to spend another week and a half pretending this win is symbolic of a team finally putting it all together? The offense looked better than […]

Football

Week 13 – Bears vs. Lions The Vault: Thanksgiving 2019

Tony Martin November 27, 2019 0

Welcome back to another edition of THE VAULT, a weekly segment where I leave our global consciousness behind and ascend to an alternate reality where Curtis Conway is a first ballot Hall of Famer and all of our dads quit drinking in the early 90s. Two weeks ago I did a Bears/Lions preview and to […]

Football

Week #12 – Giants vs. Bears Matchup Spotlight: Apathy and Exhaustion

Tony Martin November 22, 2019 0

Tony Martin: Today’s matchup post is going to look a little different than usual- since this year has been anything but normal, we are having to seriously discuss how to spend our Sunday afternoons. I just started a new job, I’m still in grad school, and I still play in multiple bands- that time of […]

Football

Week #12 – Giants vs. Bears The Vault: 2006

Tony Martin November 21, 2019 0

Welcome back to THE VAULT: my weekly musings about Bears history, making me the Carrie Bradshaw of the Bears or at least of this website. If you track the metaphor a little bit deeper, you’ll find that Josh Bellamy is my Mr. Big, whereas Dez White had my love slip through his fingers like so […]

Football

Week #11 – Bears vs. Rams Preview: WAITIN ALL DAY FOR SUNDAY NIGHT

Tony Martin November 15, 2019 0

Rams (5-4) vs. BEARS (4-5) Kickoff: 7:20pm TV: NBC Radio: 780 WBBM You ever see the movie “Big Fan”? It’s a wonderful film, and at the end (no spoilers), the main character played by Patton Oswalt is looking at the newly released schedule for the NY Giants (his favorite team), and says aloud “it’s gonna […]

Football

Week 11 – Bears vs. Rams The Vault: 2015

Tony Martin November 14, 2019 0

Welcome back to THE VAULT, my weekly sacrifice to the Dark Lord of Bears fandom. Through a combination of a shrine to Josh Bellamy and a woven idol made entirely of Bobby Engram’s discarded trash, I hope to write 750 words and pay tribute to the fans before me so that one day during my […]

Football

Week 10 – Lions vs. Bears Matchup Spotlight: COACH

Tony Martin November 8, 2019 0

You are what you eat, they say. If the old adage rings true for NFL coaches, you are what your team is. In that case, Matt Nagy is a colossal letdown. I’m sure he’s a great guy, but his team has forgotten where Club Dub is and Matt is the Lyft driver whose phone just […]

Football

The Vault: Bears vs Lions, 2011

Tony Martin November 6, 2019 0

Welcome back to THE VAULT, my weekly “REMEMBER THIS IRRELEVANT BEAR” article where I threaten Fels that I’ll go be a scab for Deadspin if he doesn’t let me write 750 words about Johnny Knox. For what it’s worth, he didn’t get mad when I wrote an entire article about weed so I think I’m […]

Football

Week 9 – Eagles vs Bears QB Study: Carson Wentz (NOT Prince Harry)

Tony Martin October 31, 2019 0

Holy shit do I want to hate Carson Wentz, who I would like to first off assure you is NOT Prince Harry. I typed out and deleted a whole paragraph on how his Christian charity and religious work makes me uncomfortable, so let’s just ignore his personality as best we can and break down the […]