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Friday Foofaraw: Our Definitely World Famous Chicago Bears Roundtable

Unlike Hess, Rankin, and Pullega, the “core four” still live in this wonderful city and call it home. We have not abandoned it for some horseshit covered outpost or soulless suburb. Which means, we still bleed blue and orange. We know the Bears are the soul of this city, for better or for worse (so much worse). And like everyone else, we’re pumped about Sunday and the season ahead. So in a tradition unlike any other, we share our football thoughts, carrying on the tradition of “The Committed Idonije.”

We barely saw Mitch Betta’ Have My Money in the preseason. We really don’t know what’s in store for this season. Do you think the limited preseason action will matter and what are you expecting from our boobies-loving QB?
McClure:  First of all, it’s “tittiess”, and the Mack acquisition is such a trajectory-changer that it alters the prism through how we the giardiniera soaked masses view Mitch Please. IN THEORY, Mack takes a significant amount of pressure off of Mitch and will give him shorter fields to work with and hopefully leads to protect. Not that a QB drafted at #2 overall needs to project as a dreaded Game Manager (not Laramie), but Mitch’s margins just got a lot wider, and any rust that could be in place by Nagy giving the finger to the tradition of the dress rehearsal pre-season game should be knocked off by the end of the first half on Sunday. So, cliff notes answer- no probably not.
Feather: Like our new overlord Matt Nagy said, if Mitch falters early, it won’t be because he didn’t take 20 snaps in the preseason. 

I’m very interested to see what this offense (and Mitch) will look like when the bell goes off on Sunday. Clearly, the Bears were making a concerted effort to avoid putting anything on film. And they were obviously doing something worth watching in the Denver scrimmages to have the ever-weird John Elway paying complements to Mitch. So I’m not too worried about the lack of preseason reps. 

Realistically, I just want to see A) Mitch stay healthy the whole season and B) new wrinkles continually added to Nagy’s offense as the year progresses. I don’t ask for much. Just make my Sunday’s interesting again. Please.
Slak: I don’t worry about the preseason because I’m not a loser like Hub Arkush. That said, I think they’ve kept a ton of stuff re: the playbook from the public and it should be interesting to see if it plays out in our favor. Mike McCarthy’s comments seem oblivious as he is wont to sound, but then again he’s not gonna come out and say “here’s what we’re going to do to stop the Bears.” There’s an element of surprise and I am excited because Mitch does have one thing in his favor and it’s his unpredictability and athleticism. The big question is can he throw? 
Fels: I’m a touch worried about accuracy. The athleticism is there, the offense is going to be a learning curve for everyone so I’ll take those mistakes, but the one thing I noticed last year is Mitch sometimes struggles to find a tight window (don’t we all?) Especially on a deep ball, because Fox never let him throw one last year. If he can’t hit some 40-, 50-, 60-yard bombs occasionally, then everything is going to get scrunched. If he can, sky’s the goddamn limit. MITCH BETTA’ HAVE MY MONEY.
How good is this defense gonna be?
McClure: There is no limit to how good this defense can be. Everyone and their obese uncle on twitter has posted positional parallels for Vic Fangio’s fearsome defense in San Francisco to the personnel that slots in here, and things certainly look favorable. If nothing else, this defense will look more aggressive than Lovie’s bend-but-don’t-break and takeaway the ball system, and could very well be better if everyone stays healthy.
Feather: This defense SHOULD be as much fun as the first three years of the Lovie Staff and his Smith era when Tommie Harris still had two attached hamstrings. 

As McClure said, the Mack acquisition completely changes the prism by which this unit should be viewed. Of course, Roquan Smith missing the preseason (and to a lesser extent Mack) probably means this defense won’t come out of the gates breathing fire. More likely, it’ll take a couple weeks of the Bears getting slightly torched; people losing their minds and then getting on a roll after everyone gets a good feel for each other.
Vic Faaaaaaangio. Just wanted to get that one in. 
Slak: Injuries, as always, will dictate that. Trader Vic is no slouch though and I think he’ll get as much as one can from this group and goddamn is it talented. I am really excited to see them get back to being the terrifying takeaway machine we remember from the mid 2000s. 
Fels: I don’t even want to compare it to Lovie’s, as fun as they were at full-strength. This defense has the potential to be our mid-80’s group because unlike Lovie’s, this one’s gonna come and get ya. There will be angles and blitzes and ferocity and outright terror and I am here for it. There will also be swagger, and that’s when things are going to get really fun.
Khalil’s gonna kill you…Khalil’s gonna kill you…Khalil’s gonna kill you…
 
Is Allen Robinson going to be a weapon? Does he even have to be with Taylor Gabriel, Anthony Miller, and Slak’s boy Javon Wims?
McClure:  If nothing else, Robinson has to be respected if not double covered, and with the plethora of on-paper skill position weapons this offense should have. Robinson doesn’t seem to have an excessive amount of WR Diva in him so playing decoy for a while for the betterment of the team should be alright, but eventually he’s going to need his touches to keep DB’s honest, and it will be on he and Mitch to make the most of those targets.
Feather: You also forget to mention Slak’s other boy Kevin White. I’m probably drunk on Bears Kool-aid but this really could be an embarrassment of riches if all things come together. Hell, even if Anthony Miller is the only one of the young guys mentioned who pans out that will still be a success…by Bears standards. 

The key to it all taking off, though, is Robinson. If he starts strong and draws the attention of the opposition, it’ll open single coverage on guys like Miller, Burton, Wims, etc. 
He’s such a huge target. So long as his ACLs don’t shatter on impact, I cant think of a good reason why he wouldn’t be considered a major weapon. 
Slak:  I think he will be if Mitch can find him. I love Wims because I watched a lot of Georgia football last year and I think Anthony Miller can be a super dependable guy for us. Jury’s out on Gabriel but the guy you didn’t mention is Trey Burton. I think he’s gonna be really good. 
Fels: The amount of weapons the Bears could have is kind of astonishing. And that leaves out what could be a really decent running game and a coaching staff that can maximize the fun of Tarik Cohen. They’re going to get goofy and I can’t wait. Really, All Robinson has to be is a cog.
How many things in your house did you punch in joy when you found out about Khalil Mack?
McClure: Well, not nearly as many as Slak, who sent us all a 7:30AM “WAKE UP MOTHERFUCKERS THEY DID IT” text last week.
Feather: One, myself in the face. 
Slak: I think I texted you clowns immediately. I felt higher than giraffe balls. 
Fels: This is probably too much info, but I got Slak’s text on the toilet, Now that’s an experience.
Ok, seriously, can the Bears actually be like, good this year?

McClure: Short answer “Yes” with a “Maybe”, long answer “No” with a “But”.

Feather: I feel like my answer to this is the same every year – yes. Not to be a St Louis Blues fan “this time will be different” but this season has a different feel than any in the past decade or so. There are so many things to like about this roster and there’s still that new car smell of the coaching staff that there doesn’t seem to be much wishcasting when you start trying to imagine a 9 to 10 win team.  So what we have is 100% pure, unfiltered optimism. God help us all.

Slak: t’s a really tough division – the hardest question is who finishes *last* in the NFC North? It’s loaded. Based on that, it’s going to be a tough year for any of those teams and I welcome relevance. We’re not asking for much – just let us care again. Let us love. 

Fels: I’m all fucking in. I think 10 wins is right there. Everyone barks about the schedule but you honestly have no idea what the schedule will look like come Halloween. Yeah, the division is tough, but it’s not like Green Bay or Detroit are fucking juggernauts. And you can Kirk Cousins this, beeyotch. There are three pretty winnable AFC games there, The Bucs and Giants blow. Win your division games at home and those five and there’s eight wins already. Then it’s just about picking off one or two others. It can be done. It will be done.

FOOTBALL’S COMING HOME.

 

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