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Game #20 – Hawks vs. Penguins: Douchebag Du Jour: The Horn Shall Sound In The Crease

We don’t always pick a goon, or someone who just kills the Hawks. Or a pest. Today, we go to a Ciccarelli-torch-carrier in Patric Hornqvist. Sometimes there’s a guy, and all he does is sit on your goalie, score goals from two feet away, and when he’s not doing that he’s running his mouth and gloving defensemen in the face after whistles. Hornqvist on the playground would have been the kid complaining that the kickball game wasn’t fair and every kid was just waiting for their chance to pelt him with the ball.

It’s not that Hornqvist isn’t effective. When healthy, he’s a good bet to put together his eighth-straight season of 20 goals or more. The only exception to that was the season-in-a-can, and he missed half of that through injury. The dude scores. And his 181 career goals have come from a combined 250 feet.

Somehow, Hornqvist doesn’t rack up too many penalty minutes, never eclipsing 47 in a year. You’d think he could rack more than that on unsportsmanlike penalties alone. There’s a scrap behind the net seemingly every shift. We’d imagine every NHL goalie has fantasies about ramming their goalie stick up into his nuts every game. If only to keep him from whining to the refs after the whistle.

Aren’t Swedes supposed to be docile? Has there been a more annoying Swede since Ulf Samuelsson, who probably should have ended up in jail anyway? By the way, Ulf leads all NHL Swedish players in penalty minutes in a career by 1000 minutes. It’s the Finns who never stop drinking and smoking to counter the darkness. Hornqvist is the darkness.

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Douchebag Du Jour

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