Hockey

Game #27 – Blues vs. Hawks: Hedley Lamarr’s Mugs, Pugs, And Thugs

Brad Marchand – What, you say? The Hawks play the Bruins on Friday, not tonight? Oh, our innocent friend. Don’t you see it’s Brad Marchand who changed everything? Don’t you see it’s his disappearance last June that let this unimaginable hell into reality? Had he not shriveled into nothingness, perhaps the Blues would still be the Blues, and not…whatever this curse is now. No longer the redheaded stepchild of the world, the Blues have legitimacy. And who wanted that? No one. Absolutely no one. It’s changed forever. It’s not coming back. And that lays at the feet of that rat-nosed phony. Don’t you forget it.

David Perron – Were we ever to do a Hall of Fame for this kind of thing, Perron would be in the first class. An enraging asshole for his entire career, the world is off its axis as he was a main inspiration for last spring’s unfortunate series of events. Perron is still a coward, and when the Blues retire his number (and they will) or honor him in some way, he’ll be right there to punch the host while two linesmen hold him.

Justin Faulk – The Hawks got the wrong d-man from Carolina, and now we’re going to have to be reminded of that for the next half-decade.

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