Previews

Game #36 – Predators vs. Hawks Preview/Sadomasochism: What Are We Even Doing?

 vs. 

RECORDS: Predators 22-10-2   Hawks WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK?

PUCK DROP: 7:30

TV: NBCSN Chicago

PEOPLE WHO WRITE ABOUT A TEAM THAT KNOWS WHAT ITS DOING: On The Forecheck

This probably should get its own rant in its own post, but this is where we are today so we’ll just put it here. The Hawks have no idea what they’re doing, in the front office or behind the bench, and if everyone isn’t fired by the end of the season you have no reason to watch. There, I said it.

I don’t even know where to start, so I’m just going to throw a dart at the wall and start with the decision to loan Henri Jokiharju to the Finnish World Junior team. Let me remind you, in case you forgot, that the Hawks are not a NCAA or CHL team. They’re not an AHL team, though they do a fine impression of one. They’re a NHL TEAM that decided it was better for a player who is supposed to be a cornerstone of whatever comes next to play in a tournament full of children that he’s already played in and succeeded in. This isn’t sending a kid to Triple-A to get more ABs and work on going the opposite way. This is sending a kid back to High-A so he can beat up on confused kids trying to light their own farts fire who can’t throw a curveball. We know Jokiharju can hit a fastball! He needs to work on breaking stuff!

So what’s the rationale? Development? Nope, because he’s already dominated this level. He needs NHL time, and he needs it with a partner who A) cares and B) can play the NHL game. So the first one rules out Duncan Keith. The second basically rules out everyone else save Connor Murphy. So stick Jokiharju with Our Big Irish Son the rest of the year and find out what he can do. And let Keith continue his season-long pout with whoever can stand to do it.

Is it about saving this season? Because you can’t. And Jokiharju would help you do that more than anyone else if that really was the aim.

No, this is about the Hawks clogging their blue line with a bunch of useless stiffs they were somehow under the impression can play. This is so they can cram Gustav Forsling onto the ice more when it’s obvious he sucks. Gustav Forsling will never contribute to a team that means anything. Accept that now. It’s so they don’t have to simply waive Brandon Manning, because signing him to stick it to a coach you hate doesn’t really work anymore after you fire that coach and no team is dumb enough to take him off your hands because, y’know, they actually have pro scouts that don’t have vertigo and can clearly see he’s an abortion. It’s because they don’t really want to send Carl Dahlstrom down because lo and behold, he’s actually been good which they couldn’t scout or anticipate because they’re stupid. So sending HarJu away pushes off their problems for two-three weeks while they fist-fuck themselves even more and have the same problems in January.

So now that’s out of the way, let’s get to tonight’s lineup, which will only infuriate more. While the Hawks did get mullered on Sunday, they had show signs of life in the previous two games. And they had a third line that looked pretty spicy with David Kampf centering Dylan Sikura and Brendan Perlini. And while defensively they were an adventure, Dylan Strome between Alex DeBrincat and Patrick Kane was producing goals if nothing else. And the fourth line seemed to function. So why not blow all that up to appease Artem Fucking Anisimov! And let’s move Dylan Strome to a wing! Because hey, that’s where his future lies, right?! No? WELL FUCK YOU THEN!

Stick Arty’s overpaid useless ass on a fourth-line wing until it’s time to trade him for the second and third round pick at the deadline you were always going to get anyway. Strome needs reps at center in this league. He’s not going to get better at it playing a wing, where his lack of footspeed is probably even worse for him. We know what Arty is at center, and it’s overrated garbage. The season is lost, and you better find out what you have on the younger portion of the roster.

Oh but we’re not done. I got it, let’s pair Duncan Keith and his refusal to reign in his game combined with his inability to play the one he wants that’s sprinkled with a complete lack of give-a-shit, and pair him with a d-man completely incapable of covering for him in Erik Gustafsson. That sounds good! On his offside no less! Fucking genius if I understand it correctly! Swiss fucking watch! I’ll have that and then a dessert of strychnine please! And we’ll continue to toss Murphy and Carl Dahlstrom at the top lines because there’s simply no one else even though both have been with the Hawks for about seven minutes this season.

Oh, and I’m sure Cam Ward will start because it’s not like we don’t need to find out what Collin Delia is in case Corey Crawford never returns from the land of wind and ghosts.

Jeremy Colliton, at best, is in way over his head with a roster no one can save, especially if you can’t tell any of the veterans to go screw. Or he’s a complete blithering idiot. Guess we’ll find out!

Anyway, they’re playing the Predators. They’re really good and are going to kick the shit out of this outfit while barely breaking a sweat. Even if they did play last night. Pekka Rinne will probably start after getting pulled last night in Ottawa, which is a sentence. So he’ll actually be trying because of that. Which is good when he’s been the league’s best goalie this year against a team that can’t manage a piss-up in a brewery. They’ve lost a bunch of road games of late. It won’t matter.

Fuck this.

 

 

Game #36 Preview Suite

Preview

Spotlight

Q&A

Douchebag Du Jour

I Make A Lot Of Graphs

Lineups & How Teams Were Built

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