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Game #63 – Hawks vs. Blue Jackets Douchebag Du Jour: The Effects Of The Cannon

If you’re involved in the hockey world, specifically covering it, for any length of time you’ll come to be annoyed by the things beat writers complain about. The list is comprised of flight delays, because not everyone deals with that or anything. Wifi in hotels and pressboxes. Pressbox food at times.

And of course, the cannon in Columbus.

We get it. It seems a little silly. But seriously, it’s their thing. It’s not there to annoy you. It’s no more annoying than Chelsea Dagger is to other writers. You might have to hear it five times a night, at most. Three times a year. And yet we guaran-fucking-tee that no matter the opponent, when the Jackets score you’ll find a beat from an opposing team complaining about the cannon blast.

You get free travel. Yeah, it can be grueling. Yes, it takes you away from home for a huge part of the year. You also get free hotels. You watch hockey games, and whatever we think about hockey thoughts you rarely get a “no comment” from anyone. Deal with the fucking cannon. It won’t kill you.

If you want to complain something, then mention how Columbus as a whole sucks and there’s nothing to do. There’s a goddamn Tim Horton’s in the arena, and those breakfast sandwiches are mighty. You can’t find that anywhere else outside of Canada. So shut up.

 

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