Hockey

Game #65 – Hawks vs. Panthers: Hedley Lamarr’s Nitwits. Halfwits, And Dimwits

Canadian Media’s Fascination With Crowd Pictures – If you’re on Twitter or Insta, next time a Canadian team plays in Sunrise check out how long it takes before their beat writer posts a picture of the arena not full. It’s like a duty or a reflex for them. Yes, the Panthers have attendance problems. They’ve also not won a playoff series in over 20 years, have only been to them twice in the interim, play in the middle of nowhere, and Miami is just a slightly more entertaining place to be with more to offer than fucking Ottawa. We get it. You don’t think South Florida deserves a team. Well, they’ve got one, and they don’t appear to be leaving anytime soon. A move back to downtown Miami would probably solve a lot of their problems, but we’ll see if that’s on the cards. What’s the attendance in Ottawa like these days? What’s it going to be when Winnipeg bottoms out? We’ll hang up and listen for our answer.

Brian Boyle – This tall doofus will never suffer for work because people think being tall and winning faceoffs are the last keys to victory for a team. Remember when he was going to be the final piece for the Preds last year? Or the windburn he got from the Hawks in ’15? We bet Quenneville loves him, though.

Mike Kitchen – Boy, this guy knows where his bread is buttered, huh? Clearly a moron who can only get work as Q’s cabana boy. Wonder how long it’ll take the players in Florida to start requesting his firing in postseason exit interviews. Took him two years here, though he was able to hang on to a job for five more years because of Q.

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