Game #69 and #70 – Hawks vs. Bruins Douchebag Du Jour: Hey Marchand Is Something Of A Dog, Too

In a minute, you’ll see that we highly question Boston’s acquisition of Rick Nash for their playoff run. Because Rick Nash has been a playoff dog his entire career. Well you know something? Brad Marchand is kind of one as well.

Since his rookie year, where he was dynamite to help the Bruins win their lone Cup in this era, Marchand has played in 47 playoff games. He has six goals in those and 24 points. You may remember he did exactly jack and shit in the Final against the Hawks in ’13, nary registering a point and pretty much being a ghost once Patrice Bergeron’s organs all broke. He didn’t manage a goal in 12 games the following season when the Bruins went back to their usual role of coughing up sputum whenever they see the Canadiens in the playoffs and fucking up a truly powerful regular season. He had one goal in their first-round capitulation to the simply-awful Senators last year.

We’re giving up on our theory that Marchand would suck if he didn’t play with Bergeron every single shift of his career (and he pretty much has). It certainly helped his cause, but his level hasn’t dropped much since Bergeron got hurt. But if the Bruins are going to make good on this surprising campaign and at least throw a scare into the Lightning in the second round, they’ll need their rat-faced shitgibbon to actually show up in the postseason. Which he hasn’t in seven years now. And if he does show, it’ll probably be for low-bridging someone away from the puck or trying to taunt Vancouver fans again.

Boy, him and Nash together. The Boston media is going to feast.


Game #69 and #70 Preview




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