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Game #77 – Sharks vs. Hawks Douchebag Du Jour: Ruining a Good Thing

The problem with the NHL changing jersey manufacturers all the time, along with many others, is that they can’t seem to resist the temptation to fuck with things that are already working. Look at the Hawks’ collars now if you need evidence of that.

The original Sharks jerseys are nearly perfect, and should have been the template from there on out:

Simple, traditional, perfectly harmonious. A kick-ass logo, a good color scheme, matching stripes on the elbows and waist. Shoulder patches that are different than the logo. Why stray from this at all?

But it’s never that simple is it?

Then came the black alternates, which the Sharks used far too often. Black alternates is the fart joke to jersey design. It’s the simplest choice. Anyone can go to it. It’s boring, it’s been done. And the fact that the Sharks wore them in the playoffs is assuredly the reason they never won anything. You can’t wear your thirds in the playoffs.

Then this abomination:

Where’s the silver go? What the hell is the orange doing in there? Why the number in front? This is a band that’s trying to do too much in a song when it just needs a verse and a chorus. The shoulder patches are the same damn thing as the logo. It’s repetitive. It’s too busy.

And now the Sharks have this. Tell us, is this a Sharks jersey or a Dolphins jersey?

Same damn thing. And still this stupid fucking number in front. How hard is this?

We can go down the list of jerseys the NHL couldn’t help fucking with. The Flames, the Islanders for too long, the Oilers now, whatever the Canucks are doing, and on it goes. What a shame.

 

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