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Stan Bowman Loses His Mind

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. This is the same GM who signed John Scott. The same guy who signed Dan Carcillo not once, but twice with the second time coming after he’d blown out his knee trying to maim Tom Gilbert, eroding whatever mobility he already didn’t have. It seems Stan Bowman has a myopia when it comes to these things.

Today Stan Bowman handed Brandon Bollig, a useless clod if there ever was one (though not as useless as Car Bomb or Scott, I’ll give him that) a three year extension worth $1.25 million annually. Think about that. Brandon Bollig, who can’t skate and can’t pass and can’t find his own dick in the defensive zone but boy can he shoot if your goalie falls asleep and you give him five minutes of space, will make $100K a year less than Marcus Kruger. That’s Marcus Kruger, #3 center on the silver-medal winning team in Sochi. He gets paid slightly more than Bollig.

Even if you think Bollig has a place on this team (this team that wants to play fast and well with the puck), 1.2 mildo is basically twice what he should be getting paid. Bollig’s are a dime a dozen, and they all make the minimum. And if you don’t think that extra 4-500 grand matters to a salary cap, look at the hell the Hawks find themselves in now with trying to make a deal. It obviously does matter.

Already, Bollig should not be keeping Jeremy Morin out of the lineup. Andrew Shaw should be skating where Bollig is, and Morin should be higher up because he can provide something. Bollig provides nothing. He’s not quick enough to be a physical force or a net presence, he doesn’t protect anyone because we’ve seen too many Hawks get clobbered with him on the ice, and he doesn’t contribute in any other way. This is either Q calling the shots and forcing Stan to do this, or Stan has fallen victim to some sort of brain-eating parasite.

Usually, Stan has realized his mistake with this kind of thing and made up for it. Both Scott and Carcillo were traded before their deals were up, and I can only hope for the same now. Because the Hawks have a fair few forward prospects who are going to want to crack the lineup in the coming years. Am I really going to have to sit here and watch McNeill or Danualt or Ross or whoever else in the coming years get the Morin-treatment simply so Q can keep Bollig out there to prove his geniousness to no one but himself? Because I don’t think I’m ready for that.

Just wait til Bollig costs the Hawks another playoff game. Just you fucking wait.

-A word on Pirri here. It’s no surprise that he was dealt, and even less so that he was dealt to Florida. No one here thought Pirri would be a star, but he’s a better option than anything on the roster for the #2 center role. As my brother pointed out on Twitter, the Hawks are one awkward crash into the boards from being Handzus-Regin-Shaw-Kruger down the middle, and how anyone around here can find that acceptable is beyond me. Pirri definitely had holes in his game, but far too often Q looks at what a player can’t do instead of what he can. I’m convinced that if Pirri was placed between Sharp and Hossa his defensive warts would have looked a hell of a lot smaller instead of mostly being placed between the diminutive Kane and the brain-diminutive Versteeg.

It’s ok, Pirri would have fallen behind Teuvo Teravainen in the pecking order as soon as this spring. He can only be a top six center really, and I don’t know he’ll get that chance even in Florida with Bjugstad and Barkov and even Huberdeau able to play center. But I hope he does. I hope he scores a fuckton of points. He’s earned the chance.

I’m going to go throw up blood now.

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