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The Doll’s Trying to Kill Me and The Toaster’s Been Laughing At Me – FFUD’s ’18-19 Player Reviews – David Kampf

Rose Rankin May 20, 2019 0

David Kampf ended up being a mildly pleasant surprise this year as basically our best defensive center. And to think, I called him wadded beef! (But seriously, he’s still kind of wadded beef and besides that’s some impressive Photshopping, no?). Let’s do it: 63 GP – 4 G – 15 A

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The Doll’s Trying To Kill Me And The Toaster’s Been Laughing At Me – FFUD’s ’18-’19 Player Reviews: Marcus Kruger

Sam Fels May 10, 2019 0

The Hawks love a revival tour, and they tried it again this season with Marcus Kruger coming back from Arizona in the Vinnie Hinostroza deal. And like pretty much every other time they’ve done this, the reunion tour isn’t as good as the one you remember from your youth. “Cold Gin” sounded different in 1978, […]

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The Doll’s Trying to Kill Me and The Toaster’s Been Laughing At Me – FFUD’s ’18-19 Player Reviews – Artem Anisimov

Rose Rankin May 9, 2019 0

It’s a pretty sad state of affairs when we’re still talking about Artem Anisimov and it’s not “wow they finally traded him,” or “what a relief, he spontaneously combusted and got sucked into a hole in the space-time continuum.” No such luck though, so let’s just get this over with: 78 GP – 15 G […]

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Game #76 – With the Apple in My Mouth, the Food That Celebrates Your End – Hawks 0, Coyotes 1

John Pullega March 27, 2019 0

Box Score Natural Stat Trick Money Puck That’ll about do it for any playoff hopes the Hawks had. In another BIG GAME, the Hawks let out the biggest and densest of farts, failing to scratch against a team straight ahead of them in the standings and more than happy to play a wet blanket trap. […]

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Game #67 – Sabres vs. Hawks Preview/Arm Balance Workshop: Even The Yahoos Don’t Care

Sam Fels March 7, 2019 0

vs. RECORDS: Sabres 30-28-8   Hawks 27-30-9 PUCK DROP: 7:30 TV: NBCSN Chicago IN A BARREL: Die By The Blade I’ll give you the perspective as a season ticket holder. Normally, the Sabres game is one you can count on unloading for a profit. It usually doesn’t matter what state the Sabres are in, because Buffalo […]

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Game #55 – Canucks vs. Hawks Preview/Slow Cooker Potluck: Come On Inside

Sam Fels February 7, 2019 0

 vs.  RECORDS: Canucks 24-24-6   Hawks 21-24-9 PUCK DROP: 7:30 TV: NBCSN Chicago THE BENNING WARRIORS: Canucks Army First off, I realize it probably doesn’t square up to keep using the train-wreck picture when they’ve won five in a row, but I also don’t want to mess with what’s working. So there. So this is stupid, and […]

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Just Win, Baby and Other Notes

John Pullega January 28, 2019 0

The bye week/All Star Break is about halfway over for our Men of Four Feathers, so it’s time to start thinking about Blackhawks hockey again. After a piss-poor but not entirely unexpected first half of the season, the Hawks sit last in the Central, 27th overall (two points out of the cellar, ahead of the […]

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Game #51 – Step Right Up: Everyone’s a Winner, Bargains Galore – Islanders 2, Hawks 2 (Hawks Turn a Sandwich Into a Banquet)

John Pullega January 22, 2019 0

Box Score Corsica Natural Stat Trick The Hawks get pantsed in the nerd stats but come away with a shootout win on the backs of the power play and Cam Ward. Just like we all predicted. To the bullets! – Cam Ward had a mostly good game tonight. He let in his embarrassingly soft goal […]

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Game #42 – Starch and Parchment Laid the Laws When Bishops Took the Ride Only to Deceive – Bruins 4, Hawks 2

John Pullega January 1, 2019 0

Box Score Corsica Natural Stat Trick Another Winter Classic, another loss for the Hawks. The Hawks played decently for the most part, which makes this loss a bit more frustrating than usual, but you can’t put Boston on the power play and expect them not to score. Still, there’s some good to take from this […]

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Game #40 – Might Not Know It Now, Baby, But I Are, I’m a Star – Wild 2, Hawks 5

John Pullega December 27, 2018 0

Box Score Corsica Natural Stat Trick After a piss-poor first, the Hawks piled on the offensively anemic Wild in the final 40. By all the metrics except the score and the save percentage, the Hawks had no business winning this game. Good thing they don’t let us fuckin’ nerds make the rules. To the bullets! […]