Hockey

Pictures of Matchstick Men – ’19–’20 Blackhawks Player Previews – Brent Seabrook

By John Pullega September 13, 2019 0

Five more years. 2018–19 Stats 78 GP – 5 G, 23 A, 28 P 46.77 CF% (-3.5 CF% Rel), 49.8 oZS% 46.46 GF% (-5.92 Rel GF%), 45.32 xGF% (0.45 Rel xGF%) Avg. TOI 19:06 A Brief History: There are so many ways to measure what a negative effect Seabrook had when he was on the […]

Everything Else

The Doll’s Trying to Kill Me and the Toaster’s Been Laughing at Me – FFUD ’18–19 Player Reviews – Gustav Forsling

By Adam Hess April 30, 2019 0

When I was a child, I had this one specific Spider-Man action figure that I loved playing with. Inside the creativity of my chilhood mind, that little Spider-Man was not just Spidey, but he was also a professional baseball/football/hockey player, soldier, what have you, depending on the day and my mood. But one day I […]

Everything Else

Atop the Sugar Pile – The Penultimate

By Rose Rankin April 2, 2019 0

The playoffs may be a distant memory, but that’s no reason not to peer into the smoldering remains of the dumpster fire that is this lineup. We’ve only got one more week after this! Shall we? The Dizzying Highs Alex DeBrincat. After a brief slump and enduring inexplicable line nonsense from Beto O’Colliton (those two […]

Everything Else

Game #77 – Children of Tomorrow Live in the Tears That Fall Today – Hawks 5, Sharks 4

By John Pullega March 29, 2019 0

Box Score Natural Stat Trick Money Puck The ghost of the Blackhawks playoff run came out to haunt tonight, but sort of like Casper: kind of fun, kind of annoying. Against a cold Sharks team that looked sloppy and disinterested throughout, the Hawks managed to squeeze out whatever ounce of hope is left in this […]

Everything Else

Game #76 – With the Apple in My Mouth, the Food That Celebrates Your End – Hawks 0, Coyotes 1

By John Pullega March 27, 2019 0

Box Score Natural Stat Trick Money Puck That’ll about do it for any playoff hopes the Hawks had. In another BIG GAME, the Hawks let out the biggest and densest of farts, failing to scratch against a team straight ahead of them in the standings and more than happy to play a wet blanket trap. […]

Everything Else

Game #75 – That’s Why We Get High, ‘Cause You Never Know When You’re Gonna Go – Avs 1, Hawks 1 (Hawks Win a Stay of Execution)

By John Pullega March 24, 2019 0

Box Score Natural Stat Trick Money Puck For a must-win game with the season on the line, the Hawks managed an “Is it in yet?” effort. Despite dominating possession (62%+) and the shot share (42 vs. 20), they only managed six high-danger chances for against the Avs’s five. With another empty-calorie win, they’ll keep the […]

Everything Else

Atop The Sugar Pile – The Hounds Of Justice

By Sam Fels March 19, 2019 0

The Dizzying Highs Brendan Perlini – Get on with your bad self, son. Perlini posted his first career hat-trick, then added tallies in Toronto and Montreal. Perls still has a little work to do to top last year’s 17 goals in Arizona, so before we go all gaga we should understand he’s done this kind of […]

Everything Else

Game #72 – Canucks 2, Hawks 2 (Canucks win tic-tac-toe) – Something Wagered, Nothing Gained

By Adam Hess March 18, 2019 0

It could’ve be more fitting of a situation than for the Blackhawks to play well against a few decent/good teams (or at least teams in playoff spots in the West) when I don’t have to pay a huge load of attention, only to then take a dump all over all 200 feet of ice when […]

Everything Else

Game #65 – Hawks 3, Kings 6 – Facts Just Twist the Truth Around

By Rose Rankin March 2, 2019 0

I wish that I could at least tell you that the number of goals meant this was an exciting game—that it was a high-flying game reminiscent of the halcyon days between these two teams that really wasn’t all that long ago. But I can’t tell you that. This was a shitty game played by two […]

Everything Else

Game #61 – Hawks 4, Red Wings 4, Hawks Win Belching Contest – I May Be Going to Hell in a Bucket, but at Least I’m Enjoying the Ride

By Rose Rankin February 20, 2019 0

This game is a perfect example of why the Blackhawks aren’t actually a good team, despite fancy numbers like wins and point streaks. They blew a three-goal lead in the third against the flotsam that is the Detroit Red Wings, or really, because the two good players on the Wings were able to score multiple […]