Everything Else

Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight – December 23rd

First Screen Viewing

Leafs vs. Rangers – 6pm

Auston Matthews returns just in time to star on Broadway right before Christmas. Isn’t that lovely? The Leafs have somehow fucked up being in the easiest division in hockey, as they should comfortable nestled into 2nd in the Atlantic, awaiting the first playoff series with home-ice since horseback was still a viable form of transportation. But partly due to Matthews injury, partly due to everyone else’s stick going cold (HEY BUDDY!), the Leafs have lost four of five and have fallen behind the Bruins having played two more games, even if the Bruins are just Bergeron, Marchand, a scarecrow and 15 guys named “Sully.” The Rangers are still in the muck in the Metro, four points behind the Caps but having played a game less, yet having two teams to leap over just to get to the Caps and the hot, stinky, malaise-y breath of the Islanders and Penguins on their neck. Not sure what it is the Rangers do well, but they’ve piled up enough results to at least get a beer at the keg party.

Second Screen Viewing

Capitals vs. Golden Knights – 7pm

A game between now perhaps the two most annoying fanbases you can find. The Caps lead the Metro, giving their fans an unexpected bonus season of putting themselves on the cross when they assuredly can’t find the way to the conference final again. The Knights want everyone to believe this isn’t an expansion team with a horseshoe up its ass that is going to find a 12-game losing streak somewhere here soon and settle back to where they belong. Their cries of “I’m a real boy!” get more and more tiresome as we go on. Anyway, they’re both at the top or near of a division, so I guess it’s worth checking out if you’re into that.

Other Games

Canadiens vs. Oilers – 6pm

Wild vs. Lightning – 6pm

Senators vs. Panthers – 6pm

Ducks vs. Penguins – 6pm

Sabres vs. Hurricanes – 6pm

Flyers vs. Blue Jackets – 6pm

Avalanche vs. Coyotes – 7pm

Predators vs. Stars – 7pm

Blues vs. Canucks –  9pm

Kings vs. Sharks – 9pm

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