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Touch Me I'm Sick

None of the lockout news coming out today, and what little of it there is, will encourage you. And the dearth of it simply makes me sick. I’m sure I’m not the only one.

Locally, Patrick Kane is the first big-name Hawk to jump the pond and head overseas (sorry Bicks and Stals and Fro). He has signed with EHC Biel of the Swiss League, probably so he once again pants a team that either Rick Nash or Joe Thornton is on. Oh my god, do you have to check out the Team Page for them, as they’re all done up to look like extras in 300 in hockey pads.

Biel is already sporting Marc-Antoine Pouliot and Tyler Seguin (see how he sticks out on that roster page). I’m sure Seguin and Kane will in no way lay to waste whatever they find in front of them in the Swiss League. It’ll probably feel like London all over again for Kaner.

What does it mean?

There are some who fear it means that Kane has come to the conclusion that the NHL won’t be back for a while, and that may be it. Maybe things have been in the works for weeks and only now just got completed, and he’s tired of just having workouts and wants to get some games in now. Maybe Kane figured that spots were going to get harder and harder to find the longer he waited and he’d better go now for however long it will be.I don’t know what it means.

But it shouldn’t mean that this thing is going to drag out. Even the thought of it could makes me want to vomit up things I haven’t even ingested. The main story today on the NHL level was this ridiculous memo that went out that allowed GMs and other execs to talk to players for two days to explain the NHL proposal.

Is it probably an attempt to split union members from the PA? Yeah, it is. It’s a chance for the owners to get their terms to the rabble without their leaders spinning it, and the owners getting to spin it without spinning it. Has the PA leadership but spinning things to the foot soldiers that might not be true? So it seems with this sudden objection to anything resembling escrow, no matter how necessary it might be.

Is this something the NHLPA should use to stonewall negotiations even more? No, it is not. Again, it is sickening that both sides are trying to prove how angry they are at each other instead of getting to an agreement. Guess what numbnuts on both sides, whenever you do reach an agreement,  you’re still going to be angry at the other side. That’s generally what a deal is, when both sides leave unhappy.

This is no longer the players holding out for 57% and the owners offering 43%. Both sides have put out 50-50 there. Yeah, both offers had holes, but that’s what negotiating fucking is. And now they can’t even agree on how to meet. An agreement is staring them in the face, and yet both sides are intent on putting their hands over their eyes and screaming before they hit themselves with a tennis racquet.

At this point, I’m getting to the point where I hope the game is irrevocably damaged. Yeah, it might mean the end of my business, but at this point it’s what both sides deserve because it’s the outcome both refuse to see. Because let’s just say they cancel games officially instead of just dates. Or let’s say just enough fans are poisoned beyond the point of return. Let’s say revenues drop 10% this season, which I don’t think is unreasonable to suggest. That’s 330 million dollars. Or another way, almost three times the difference in their proposals from last week. Understand that. Simply to win a dick measuring contest, they would cost themselves 230 million to split up.

And what’s worse is that mine and the thousands of others expressing our sickness at this won’t matter a jot.

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